What Happens When Nobody Says Thank You?

Oct 6

3 min read

A conversation I had recently has stayed with me.

I asked a perioperative nurse why they were thinking about leaving. I expected the usual answers: salary, hours, career progression.

Instead they said something much simpler.

“Kate... I can't remember the last time anyone thanked me.”

Sadly, I wasn't surprised, because I've heard versions of it countless times over the years.

We all want to feel that we matter

It doesn't matter whether you've been in theatre for three months or thirty years. Every one of us wants to know that our contribution makes a difference.

Yet somewhere between busy operating lists, staffing shortages and the pressure to keep everything moving, appreciation often disappears. Not intentionally. It just gets forgotten.

Here's something I've learnt. People rarely leave after one bad day. More often they leave after months of feeling invisible, unheard, taken for granted, emotionally exhausted and unappreciated.

That's very different.

It's the small moments people remember

Appreciation isn't about grand gestures. It's usually the small moments people remember. Someone saying:

“You handled that really well.”

“Thank you for staying back today.”

“I noticed how supportive you were with our new team member.”

Those words take seconds to say, yet people remember them for years.

Recognition is good leadership

The best Theatre Managers I've worked with all do one thing well. They notice people. Not just performance. People.

They notice when someone has had a difficult day. They notice when a new graduate lacks confidence. They notice when someone has quietly gone above and beyond. And most importantly, they say something.

Recognition isn't just a nice thing to do. It's good leadership.

Over the years I've seen hospitals invest thousands of dollars into recruitment. Yet sometimes the simplest retention strategy costs absolutely nothing. A conversation. A thank you. A moment of genuine recognition.

I've lost count of the number of candidates who've said something like, “I didn't leave because of the workload. I left because I stopped feeling valued.” There's an important difference.

You could be that person for someone else

We often underestimate the impact we have. Think about your own career. I bet you can remember someone who encouraged you, believed in you or thanked you. You probably remember exactly how they made you feel.

Now think about this. You could be that person for someone else today.

Before your next shift, I'd like to leave you with a challenge. Find one person and acknowledge something they've done well. Not because they're leaving. Not because it's performance review time. Just because it's true.

You never know what someone is carrying, and you never know how much those few words might mean.

Kate's reflection

One of the things I love most about recruitment is hearing people's stories: the promotions, the career changes, the excitement. But I also hear the disappointments.

If there's one lesson I've learnt over the years, it's this. People don't expect perfection. They don't expect every day to be easy. They simply want to feel respected, seen and valued.

Healthcare is built on caring for others. Let's make sure we're looking after each other too.

Coffee Break question

Think back over your career. What's one compliment, thank you or act of kindness from a colleague or leader that you've never forgotten? I'd love to read your stories in the comments.

The stories I share in Coffee Break with Kate are always anonymised. The lessons are always real. Thank you for everything you do behind the theatre doors.